Sunday, 14 November 2010

RR: Avatar


Our first retrospective review, brough to you in glorious MSN transcript!

Britta says: (22:12:42)

hi

Jim says: (22:12:48)

Hello!

Jim says: (22:12:58)

Hiding off line, I see

Britta says: (22:13:03)

yes ^__^

Britta says: (22:13:07)

bwahahaa

Jim says: (22:13:21)

Anyhoo, let me begin by introducing the concept of the Retrospective Reviews

Britta says: (22:13:25)

k

Jim says: (22:14:15)

Well, the feelings a film creates, and the general impression, are probably best judge by what people remember months after

Jim says: (22:14:27)

If you still think a film is awesome after 6 months, chances are it was

Jim says: (22:14:54)

So we're here to review films we watched a while back without revisiting them

Jim says: (22:15:12)

All ignorance is completely genuine, folks

Jim says: (22:15:54)

Well, we're here to review James Cameron's multi-million dollar blockbuster Avatar

Britta says: (22:16:09)

which was damn good

Jim says: (22:16:10)

And as I remember, Britta saw it about a month before I did

Jim says: (22:16:13)

Indeed

Britta says: (22:16:22)

with my family ^_^

Jim says: (22:16:32)

So I think you should give me your low down before my horrible, bitter, cynical viewpoint butts in

Jim says: (22:16:45)

La de da :P

Britta says: (22:17:02)

and then I insisted Jim see it with me, gave me an excuse to see it again :P

Britta says: (22:17:25)

ok, well I thought it was AMAZING and it is the only film I can remember coming out of feeling so strongly about it

Britta says: (22:17:38)

everyone was having to adjust back to reality

Jim says: (22:17:39)

Oh, so that was why?

Jim says: (22:17:47)

Selfish beeyatch

Britta says: (22:17:52)

and feeling a little dissapointed to have to do so

Jim says: (22:17:57)

Aww

Britta says: (22:18:13)

nooooo because it was awesome and I thought you'd want to enjoy the awesomeness too

Jim says: (22:18:17)

Did you want to be a Nar'vee?

Britta says: (22:18:21)

YES

Jim says: (22:18:25)

LOL

Jim says: (22:18:35)

To be honest, who wouldn't?

Britta says: (22:18:37)

tiny humans are rubbish in comparison

Jim says: (22:18:48)

That reminds me of one of the cutest moments

Britta says: (22:18:56)

at the end?

Jim says: (22:19:12)

When Jake's alien squeeze came and rescued his little human body from the caravan in the woods

Britta says: (22:19:18)

yeah :)

Jim says: (22:19:27)

Little human man! He so small!

Britta says: (22:19:36)

and she managed not to recoil in disgust

Jim says: (22:19:38)

I keep him as pet.

Britta says: (22:19:40)

haha

Britta says: (22:19:50)

not that humans are disgusting

Jim says: (22:19:52)

He was cute! About the only time he was, mind you.

Britta says: (22:20:12)

but if you've fallen in love with a big blue thing it's weird to see the little pink thing that he really is

Jim says: (22:20:17)

Okay, something really freaky about the cuteness factor...

Jim says: (22:20:23)

Heh. little pink thing eh? ;)

Britta says: (22:20:27)

hehe yeah :P

Jim says: (22:20:38)

I might prefer a big blue thing, its true

Jim says: (22:20:40)

Anyway

Jim says: (22:20:48)

As you know, I like Sigourny Weaver

Britta says: (22:20:52)

yus

Jim says: (22:20:53)

She am pretty

Britta says: (22:21:05)

she am strong like cheetah

Jim says: (22:21:08)

And all natural, as we found out watching alien

Jim says: (22:21:18)

:D Cheetah with a gun

Britta says: (22:21:23)

tiny pants ^_^

Britta says: (22:21:25)

hehe

Jim says: (22:21:31)

Huge..er..foliage

Jim says: (22:22:02)

Anyway, if someone had asked me what I would have said if I saw a 12 foot tall muscular blue Sigourney weaver

Jim says: (22:22:06)

I would have said...

Jim says: (22:22:10)

Well, probably nothing

Jim says: (22:22:16)

I would have just collapsed on the floor

Britta says: (22:22:20)

just fainted from lack of head blood?

Jim says: (22:22:27)

Yes, exactly

Britta says: (22:22:31)

hmm

Britta says: (22:22:40)

so what did you think when you saw her?

Jim says: (22:22:49)

I was FREAK-ED OUT.

Jim says: (22:22:58)

Her Narvee really hits the uncanny valley for me

Jim says: (22:23:15)

Especially the way her legs move, for some reason

Jim says: (22:23:17)

Is weird

Britta says: (22:23:35)

I never noticed any strange leggage

Jim says: (22:23:49)

But on the other hand, I actually found Jake's Nar'vee quite sexy.

Jim says: (22:23:58)

When in reality he is a potato-faced squadie

Jim says: (22:24:13)

The Strange Leggage of Sigourney Weaver

Britta says: (22:24:13)

yeah I agree he was attractive

Jim says: (22:24:17)

In Cinema's Now!

Jim says: (22:24:39)

Maybe all ugly people are sexy as Nar'vee

Jim says: (22:24:45)

And all sexy people are weird

Britta says: (22:24:54)

maybe his face just suited it better

Britta says: (22:24:57)

meh

Jim says: (22:25:11)

His face definitely suited being something different

Britta says: (22:25:18)

You're being mean

Jim says: (22:25:22)

Poor potato faced Jake

Britta says: (22:25:24)

he's not that unattractive

Britta says: (22:25:32)

you just don't like that he's a soldier

Jim says: (22:25:38)

Like the incompetent carvings of a drunken toddler

Jim says: (22:25:48)

Yes, I really am being mean

Jim says: (22:26:03)

He is fair looking, and I do dislike the military mens

Jim says: (22:26:25)

Especially that guy in the film, actually

Jim says: (22:26:34)

The Colonel, or whatever

Britta says: (22:26:34)

the main bad guy?

Jim says: (22:26:36)

Yeah

Britta says: (22:26:47)

yeah he's far too muscly and gross

Jim says: (22:26:52)

I mean, I know it is supposed to be a simplistic, easy-to-engage with story

Jim says: (22:27:00)

And so it has douchebag bad guys

Jim says: (22:27:09)

But he was a MASSIVE prick

Jim says: (22:27:23)

For 2 english pence, I would have put out his remaining eye

Jim says: (22:27:30)

With my thumb

Britta says: (22:27:31)

not for freeeeee?

Jim says: (22:27:41)

Well, even evil has standards my love

Jim says: (22:27:48)

And I am, as we all know, very evil

Britta says: (22:28:10)

I suppose the 2p would pay for being squeamish about putting your thumb in his eye socket

Jim says: (22:28:24)

Yeah...although eyes are quite tough

Jim says: (22:28:33)

Enough of this grossness

Jim says: (22:28:41)

What else do you remember from the film?

Britta says: (22:29:05)

It was very beautiful, all the glowing fluorescent jungle scenes especially

Britta says: (22:29:52)

and when he's gone small and scrawny from lack of real-life exercise it was a good contrast between the reality and the fantasy

Jim says: (22:30:20)

Yes, I have to agree the jungle was amazing

Jim says: (22:30:46)

The level of care was up to Dark Crystal standards

Britta says: (22:30:20)

and I liked the fact they had to learn their language

Britta says: (22:30:40)

and not just have the aliens learn English, or have a universal translator

Jim says: (22:30:52)

Yeah, good point

Jim says: (22:31:05)

Slightly better sci-fi elements than most gave it credit for

Jim says: (22:31:39)

What about the 3D? I seem to remember you were all for it, like a big populist sheep would be.

Britta says: (22:33:09)

The 3D was good. I thought it worked well and I remember saying it was the first film where the 3D actually blended into the storytelling and didn't seem like a gimmick like in Coraline or Monsters vs Aliens

Britta says: (22:33:53)

I mean it didn't blend perfectly, but it seemed like film-making was on the path to incorporating it in a better way

Britta says: (22:34:34)

like I'm sure when colour and sound first came out it didn't feel natural, but now it's a part of every film

Jim says: (22:34:37)

That is a good way of looking at it

Jim says: (22:34:49)

Although I genuinely can't see 3D becoming like sound and colour

Britta says: (22:35:14)

maybe not quite but certainly not a jolting intrusion

Jim says: (22:35:23)

Because sound and colour are part of our world, whereas 3D on a 2D canvas will always be unnatural

Jim says: (22:35:28)

Hmm...

Britta says: (22:35:42)

what did you think of the 3D? as I recall it gave you a headache?

Jim says: (22:36:25)

Not a headache as such...as you know, I had a lot of trouble with the 3D...I find the glasses uncomfortable anyway, but at the time my eyesight had got very poor, I needed a new prescription for my own glasses and so I had to sit right at the front. It made my eyes ache.

Jim says: (22:36:54)

I'm trying not to be 'cooler than thou' but I really only noticed the 3D when it was irking me

Britta says: (22:36:54)

Sitting at the front makes your eyes ache tis true :(

Jim says: (22:37:23)

:P Having strobing images 10 feet wide makes your eyes ache

Jim says: (22:37:34)

I would much rather have seen it in 2D

Jim says: (22:37:44)

And look forward to doing so when we get it on DVD

Britta says: (22:38:03)

me too ^____^

Jim says: (22:38:24)

Obviously, there's not much to say about the plot that hasn't already been said

Jim says: (22:38:36)

And even then people go on bout it CONSTANTLY

Britta says: (22:38:44)

yup. pretty predictable. let's move on

Jim says: (22:38:56)

I did want to make a point about it as an allegory, though

Jim says: (22:39:32)

Because people often equate it to the plight of indigenous cultures vs. the imperialists

Jim says: (22:39:46)

But it doesn't really hold up like that for one simple reason

Jim says: (22:39:58)

That being that humanity do not trade with the Nar'vee

Jim says: (22:40:09)

And conversly, that the Nar'vee don't want our stuff

Britta says: (22:40:13)

well they want to

Britta says: (22:40:24)

they try to find stuff the narvee will want

Britta says: (22:40:28)

but that doesn't work

Jim says: (22:40:33)

This is so

Jim says: (22:40:41)

But it just doesn't hold up historically

Jim says: (22:41:21)

From the Native Americans to the Aboriginals and the South American peoples, the natives have ALWAYS wanted what the invaders offered

Britta says: (22:41:27)

ooooooo I think in a sequel the narvee should use the technology to walk around as little tube-grown humans!

Britta says: (22:41:44)

yeah that's true

Jim says: (22:41:48)

In fact it was often the trade that softened the way to allow them to be subjugated

Britta says: (22:41:53)

and in this one they're perfecty happy

Jim says: (22:41:53)

Heh :D Not a bad idea

Jim says: (22:42:18)

Surely some of the younger Nar'vee would like guns to hunt with

Britta says: (22:42:31)

hmmm they'd be wrong to u_u

Britta says: (22:42:45)

they need to learn the ways!

Jim says: (22:43:22)

Exactly, but wouldn't that make a better film? The old ones persuading them to keep to the old ways, the young ones more willing to accept humanity's diplomacy?

Britta says: (22:43:30)

maybe

Jim says: (22:43:40)

And one more point on this...the Nar'vee aren't hippies

Britta says: (22:43:57)

but the older ones probably wouldn't allow humans to be talking to their children

Jim says: (22:44:16)

That's why the children would totally talk to them

Jim says: (22:44:18)

Rebellion!

Britta says: (22:44:24)

suppose so

Britta says: (22:44:41)

they aren't hippies indeed u_u

Jim says: (22:44:54)

They are what hippies TRY to be

Jim says: (22:45:00)

And fail to be

Jim says: (22:45:16)

Hippies can't telepathically interface with horses

Jim says: (22:45:26)

If they could, people might like them better

Britta says: (22:45:28)

omg if I could be as hippyish as them

Britta says: (22:45:53)

would be awesome

Britta says: (22:45:56)

yeah

Britta says: (22:46:03)

also take less drugs

Jim says: (22:46:12)

Yus

Britta says: (22:46:26)

(as in, they should. I already don't take any drugs)

Jim says: (22:46:44)

(or interface with horses)

Jim says: (22:46:50)

(despite what some people say)

Britta says: (22:47:17)

just a little clarification for the wonderful internet peoples who do not know me personally

Jim says: (22:47:27)

:D

Britta says: (22:47:30)

but what about what the horses say?

Britta says: (22:47:42)

:P

Jim says: (22:47:45)

You don't interface with them.

Jim says: (22:47:46)

Much.

Jim says: (22:47:53)

So, Avatar...

Jim says: (22:48:04)

Any last points?

Britta says: (22:48:17)

well we haven't actually heard your opinion of it yet

Britta says: (22:48:27)

your scathing review

Jim says: (22:48:31)

Ok :D

Jim says: (22:48:43)

Well after that build up, my review isn't scathing at all

Jim says: (22:48:57)

The one word I consistently used to describe it to others was 'charming'

Jim says: (22:49:37)

I think it is pure fantasy and pure escapism, that people who get to worked up about it in either direction have entirely missed the point of what it is, and that it is very beautiful and well made

Jim says: (22:49:56)

And being the sensitive boy I am, I did cry several times

Jim says: (22:50:05)

Like a school girl would

Britta says: (22:50:11)

:)*

Britta says: (22:50:38)

so what are your criticisms?

Jim says: (22:50:55)

Well, the plot is baggy

Jim says: (22:51:09)

Its too long (my eternal criticism)

Jim says: (22:51:13)

Predictable

Jim says: (22:51:57)

But really these things are beside the point

Jim says: (22:52:06)

Like I said before, its not something to get serious about

Jim says: (22:52:16)

Its just fun; big, good looking, expensive fun

Britta says: (22:53:03)

ooo I've just remembered one thing I really liked :D near the end when Main Girl totally beat Soldier Mans butt, and wasn't wishy-washy and hesitaty about it.

Jim says: (22:53:56)

Heh

Jim says: (22:53:57)

Yeah

Jim says: (22:54:02)

She kicked his punk ass

Britta says: (22:54:27)

she was practical and got business sorted out before she could go save lil pink man

Britta says: (22:54:44)

which I admire u_u much better than the silly girl in Halloween

Jim says: (22:55:16)

Poor little pink man

Jim says: (22:55:36)

I suppose we could go into the portrayal of disabled people in film at this point...

Britta says: (22:55:36)

it's ok, he gets to be one in the end :)

Jim says: (22:55:51)

But I am rather torn on the issue

Britta says: (22:55:55)

??

Jim says: (22:57:21)

Well, some people complained that Jake was seen as useless when he lost his legs...others that he was actually a shining example of how disabled soldiers could rise again

Jim says: (22:57:31)

Either one is flawed really

Jim says: (22:57:52)

Although it is interesting how his Narvee body kind of becomes like a drug

Jim says: (22:57:59)

And his human existence a dream

Britta says: (22:58:01)

well I'm inclined to see it the positive way

Britta says: (22:58:09)

they find him something he can do, and he does it

Jim says: (22:59:26)

Yes, that is the bottom line

Jim says: (23:00:06)

As we mentioned at the beginning, who the hell WOULDN'T be a Nar'vee? If I had perfectly functioning limbs, I'd be all over that shit.

Jim says: (23:00:21)

Sorry human body, you're only second best now

Britta says: (23:00:35)

aww we could still keep it around

Jim says: (23:00:43)

Yeah

Jim says: (23:00:48)

As a spare

Jim says: (23:00:55)

While I'm busy being blue and sexy

Britta says: (23:00:57)

I feel sorry for smaller Jim body

Britta says: (23:00:59)

hehe

Jim says: (23:01:11)

Making blue love with my blue Britta

Britta says: (23:01:18)

^___^

Jim says: (23:01:31)

And on that note...

Britta says: (23:01:37)

hmm?

Jim says: (23:01:50)

I think we ought to wrap it up

Britta says: (23:01:53)

yus

Jim says: (23:02:03)

I mean, how will be reach a higher pinnacle than blue sex?

Jim says: (23:02:12)

No way, no how

Britta says: (23:02:17)

in conclusion, darn good film, everyone must see it

Jim says: (23:02:46)

Yes, if only to see what all the fuss is about

Britta says: (23:03:05)

and then go back to your dreary little lives

Britta says: (23:03:15)

walking through the rain

Britta says: (23:03:37)

talking on your rubbish technology mobile, buying a ready-made frozen dinner

Jim says: (23:03:41)

Eating a sandwich. A dreary, non-blue sandwich.

Britta says: (23:04:04)

entangled in all the demands of everyday life

Britta says: (23:04:12)

why not live in a tree?

Britta says: (23:04:16)

in the sunshine

Britta says: (23:04:25)

it's warm enough that you don't need clothes

Britta says: (23:04:32)

everyone is fit and strong

Jim says: (23:04:35)

And sexy!

Britta says: (23:04:36)

aaaaah ^__^

Britta says: (23:04:43)

Jim I think you're a bit obsessed

Jim says: (23:04:52)

Just telling it like it is

Britta says: (23:04:55)

it is true that they are sexy

Jim says: (23:05:05)

So, yes

Jim says: (23:05:09)

Watch Avatar

Jim says: (23:05:16)

4/5

Britta says: (23:05:22)

5/5!


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