Jackboots on Whitehall was a huge disappointment. The 'animation' style was so vulgar that I actually spent most of the time not wanting to look at the screen, which isn't a good sign. The only ones which didn't make my eyes ache were the girls but hey I didn't pay £3.25 to look at dressed-up Barbies. I'm just so gutted that it was a bad film, it's such a let-down. At worst it was a pathetic wank-fest over the use of real models and at best it sometimes got maybe close to being a little bit (but not nearly enough) like Robot Chicken. The characters, save the aforementioned Barbie girls, were unanimously fugly, including our 'hero', all with dead glassy painted-on eyes (with off-puttingly crap 'blink' effects) and ghastly mouths that could only be in two positions, wobbling sickly when they talked and otherwise held in a disturbing open position. The characters were so unlikeable and un-charming that I didn't care whether the English, Germans or Scottish were victorious, so long as they all buggered off and stopped assaulting my eyeballs it was fine with me. Winston Churchill was a particularly grotesque man, although I am assured this is at least cannon with reality. The only thing I vaguely respected about the film was the opening title sequence with art depicting era-esque war comics, although that went on too long to enjoy. Oh, and the Nazi Barbies were pretty swish. But really, it was crap, and I would advise anyone and everyone to save their money and their aesthetic dignity by never seeing it EVER.
Rating: 1/5 (only because I'm not allowed to give it no stars)
I feel a bit bad criticising Jackboots on Whitehall, since it was obviously made with great love. The miniatures, clothes and vehicles are crafted beautifully, and this is the McHenry brothers first feature. But the editing is badly off, the story is bitty, the tone is very undecided and worst of all, the jokes are not nearly as funny as they need to be. There are some genuinely funny moments, but the general level of writing was sleep-inducing dull, relying on cultural stereotypes 70 years old that would seem clumsy for the lamest Carry On film. At its best, it is like one of the Adam and Joe Show Toy sketches they used to do (their version of Saving Private Ryan comes to mind) but to be honest, that just made me feel like I’d rather be watching an Adam and Joe toy sketch. Surprised that they got so many big named Brit actors involved. Plus the puppets, though designed with glorious grotesquery, have no character because they hardly move. Some queasy CGI has been added to make them blink and twitch their mouths, but its just off putting. I can't think of anything about the film which wouldn't be improved 100 fold by it being in live action.
Rating: 1/5
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